Category: Journal Entry

  • Day 15: Starting Off Winning

    Starting off week number three! My meditation was a lot easier this morning, my mind was still wandering, but I didn’t struggle as much to bring it back to center. I have been processing anger toward other people – trying to understand where it comes from. Generally my anger seems to come from something I…

  • Day 14: Starting Off Winning

    This morning was rough, but I got everything done – I even made myself sit through my entire meditation time instead of letting myself off easy. Yeah it’s a wrestling match with my mind trying to focus on a single thing for even 10 minutes – today I simply focused on my breathing – in…

  • Day 13: Starting Off Winning

    It’s been interesting noticing how much of my internal thought patterns are from my inner two year-old worrying about things. When I notice anxiety now, I talk to myself and I figure out if it’s coming from my shadow pattern or if there’s something else going on. So far it’s always been my shadow –…

  • Day 12: Starting Off Winning

    I took my mom out some flowers as a token of apology and then gave an apology to both her and my dad. I’m exhausted now, but I feel much lighter and I feel like I had the first real conversation with my parents in years. It was nice seeing the immense amount of pride…

  • Day 11: Starting Off Winning

    Well not so much starting off today – I was lazy and stayed in bed until I heard my son messing around in the kitchen. But I did get everything done aside from getting out of bed bed by 4:45am. I blew up at my parents last night, I realized today that it’s because I…

  • Day 10: Starting Off Winning

    1/3 of the way to the end of this goal. I woke up, but stayed in bed after my alarm went off- for what felt like 30 minutes. I didn’t even bother to look at my phone until after I’d gotten out of the shower. It was only 5 minutes after 5 – so apparently…

  • Day 9: Starting Off Winning

    It amazes me how much more quickly 20 minutes seems to go by when you’re just waking up and are motivating yourself to get out of bed – or maybe it’s being half-awake. Yeah today I struggled to get out of bed, to get in the shower – the cold water therapy was surprisingly easy,…

  • Day 8: Starting Off Winning

    It’s interesting how you start paying attention to something and you see it everywhere. It somehow seems fitting I’d really start noticing this as I’m starting into week two of this 30 day challenge to myself. As I’ve been going through my daily routine, I’ve been finding more things relating to what I’m trying to…

  • Day 7: Starting Off Winning

    Taking action is the only way to actually get anywhere. But you also need to take effective action. I spent a long time in my life being busy, but not really going anywhere. I’ve been thinking about the tendency for people to focus on window dressing in their lives – i.e. jumping straight to the…