Day 10: Embracing Warriorship

This is more of a catch-up than anything.

I’m really on day 10 and I’m failing the challenge to myself to do everything on my list. But simultaneously I’m feeling like I’m digging down to a whole new level. I’m accepting that I’m fine not meeting my own expectations.

I keep thinking back to Way of the Peaceful Warrior and advice from Socrates to Dan. Socrates said he doesn’t usually live up to other people’s expectations let alone his own – but he was still at peace with it.

For a long time I’ve beat myself up over my “failings” with not meeting goals I’ve set for myself. But recently I’ve realized that my “failures” are things I use to justify staying small as well as stopping my progress.

I’m harder on myself than anyone else ever has been.

But my response has been to let myself stay in a dark hole.

Exercising genuine self-compassion has been a game changer.

I could be being too “soft” on myself, but I’m tired of beating myself up emotionally – all that does is drain me emotionally.

Treating myself like I’m someone worth loving – someone who is genuinely doing their best – without burning themselves out. Yes, I’m capable of more than I know, but my past track record has involved me pushing myself, and pushing myself, and pushing myself – then hitting a wall.

I feel like I’ve been teetering on the edge.


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